thursday

i think everyone got the wrong idea about yesterday's post about that man from British Columbia

it's not what some of you think

i only wrote it because it still to this day amazes me that some small gesture on my part is remembered almost 16 years later


and that someone is not afraid to tell me every year that they love me for what i did which to me was  not a big deal

i'm glad i made a difference for someone just by listening

that's all

listen

I used to use yahoomail for my main email account. That was years ago. I have since switched to my email through my internet provider for important things and gmail for communicating with online friends.

But I can't close my yahoo mail .  I've had that account for many years and I get love letters in that email.

Yes, love letters.  Years ago and I can't remember in what forum, a man from British Columbia fell in love with me. And he has written me love letters ever since 2000 .  I don't get them often, only once or twice a year, but they are still coming after all this time.  He calls me his angel.  He has my picture hanging on the wall in his house.  And he actually took a picture of his wall to show me my picture on his wall.

Why does he love me ?  Because I saved his life according to him. 

Don't misunderstand though. There are no illusions of any sort of real life in the flesh relationship.

But he loves me I have no doubt.

Because I saved his life by giving him the will to live .

How?

Because I cared enough to listen to him.

That's all I did.  

I listened when he had no one else to listen.

It's something we can all do.

Try it sometime. Keep your mouth shut and just

Listen

simple words -- October 25, 2015

it's kind of strange,
i hear birds outside in the darkness of the night
normally i hear them only in the daytime
i'm not sure why that is
maybe i don't listen for them in the night
i don't know,
but
they sound distressed

i'm not feeling it tonight
not feeling that joy of living
tonight i am feeling something else
a question
what is the point ?
i mean really, what is the point ?

it all just seems ...

i don't know really
don't know the word to describe
what it all seems
but it's not good
it's just, well, pointless

there is a deadness in the air
a dry , withering, wasting away
the earth giving up
falling apart, collapsing beneath our feet      
it's tired

disintegrating , crumbling, broken
beneath the feet of men
who don't care

is there hope ?
or
no hope
can we know hope
in a world full of madness ?

hopeless, helpless, wounded, broken

all the world in disarray

tomorrow is another day

goodnight

~~~~~~~~~~~~


(simple words written on October 25th when I felt something ... or nothing )



Lia~   10/25/2015

do you remember ?

I wonder if you remember the day

the day I told you I was going to leave

In the beginning , when we had just met

I told you I was getting out of that place

that I didn't fit in, didn't like being there

in that place I call "the asylum"

where our paths first crossed .

I wonder if you remember that day

and what you said to me

when I said I was leaving.

I remember those two simple words

"Don't go" , you said

And in that moment

my heart melted and I knew

I could not leave you

not then, not now, not ever ...


           
          ♥♥♥♥



( simple words written on a late night in October  when I recalled a moment in time )



Lia ~   10/20/2015




A cover of Amos Lee's "Stay With Me" sung by another great person I  met online years ago . A young man by the name of Tom Meny.    I thought this song quite fitting.

More simple words

i don't know what i expected

nor what i wanted

nor what i needed

from all this

i just know it felt nice

when words were spoken

to me

by virtual strangers

who became friends

as well as friends can be

here in the twilight zone

where i couldn't see

or touch

or hear

but somehow i could "feel" you

and that was the best part of it all

                 ♥♥♥♥


( simple words written on a windy October afternoon as I pondered whether it was time to unplug from  all this technology )

 Lia ~  10/18/2015

dumb

i didn't have anything to say

i tried and tried and tried all day

i was tired and weary

but i tried to write

all day long into the night

no words would come

i've been struck dumb

still nothing to say

tomorrow is another day

and i will try again

so maybe then

but if there are none

i will be done

at least for awhile

did that make you smile ?  (haha, had to end this some how!)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


( a few simple words written on an  October evening after trying but failing this morning)



~Lia 10/14/2015

unraveled

never mind 

it is beyond repair

but it can never be said that I didn't try

string by string

thread by thread

fiber by fiber

i  tried

it finally just broke

and i began to fall

good thing i have a parachute ~

********

( simple words written on a sunny October morning when I realized the light will continue to shine and I would not crash  to the ground this time around )

Lia~  10/13/2015

Lately you've been flapping your wings

As if you need to be set free

Look around 

You have never been confined by a cage

Nor will you ever be

Look around 

You have always been free

Free to fly away

So why are you still here ?

^^^^^^^

( Very simple words written on a cool October morning when I saw a feather floating to the ground and thought about you  )

Lia~  10/12/2015

a stranger ?

Everywhere I looked tonight, I found you

I found your words, your face, your photographs

And though your face seemed so familiar

I felt like you were a stranger

And yet, how can that be ?

For awhile we were so close

But perhaps that was only in my mind

Still, I could have sworn we had touched 

Maybe in another place, another time

I wish I could remember

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


( very simple words written on a dark October night when I realized I no longer knew you )


~Lia  10/11/2015