Baloon~ Part Two

and then there are those other balloons

you know, the ones you bring into your house for special occasions

mylar balloons, tough little buggers on the outside

they usually get tied down to keep them in place until the party is over

i think they secretly love being tied down and on display

where everyone can admire them for their shiny exterior

no one thinks about them being bloated up with air on the inside

they are cool until the party is over and you untie them

that is when they become annoying

they float around from room to room hovering over your head

somehow they seem to follow you no matter which room you are in

there they are, those damned balloons, hovering

looking down at you from high above as if they are somehow better than you

every now and then as they hover overhead they get caught in the ceiling fan

thwup thwup thwup thwup

it always seems to happen when you have managed to escape to another room

and it scares they crap out of you

i think they do it on purpose just to get attention

by then, they know you are getting tired of them

after a few times of pulling this stunt, they begin to weaken

and then you notice they are not hovering above, but are hovering at eye level

that's when they really get annoying,

getting in your face

following you around

looking at you with that stupid look

like "here i am, notice me"

you sit down and there they are in your face again

 with their smug look

as if to say "i am still here, you can't get rid of me"

so you smack them out of the way 

and hope they float off into another room

or just suddenly deflate and be gone

after awhile they seem to lose hope and they get even weaker

they go hang out in the corner and you barely notice them for days

you forget about them as you sit down to read a book

and then they seem to come back to life and start floating around once more

they appear in your peripheral vision while you are relaxing

and scare the crap out of you all over again

they always look like some intruder waiting in the shadows to kill you

this happens for about three days

and then you get fed up and start to plan their demise

and one day, you just do it

you grab them as they hover next to you with that smirk on their shiny balloon face

and you squeeze them, hard, trying to strangle the life out of them

but even in their weakened state, they are tough to kill

so you get up from your comfortable spot on the sofa

walk into the kitchen

grab a steak knife

and plunge it in

^^^^^^^^^^^^


(Not so simple words unless you really "get" me , written on a November morning and afternoon when I decided I would not go down so easily )

~Lia 11/6/2015

last simple post for awhile

no more simple words

i have laid them down by the imaginary door

the imaginary door i will walk through

on my way out of of this imaginary life

that never really existed

except as a series of ones and zeros

which i don't understand with my imaginary mind

i won't look back with my imaginary eyes

nor will i feel a thing with my imaginary feelings

when i shut the door on this chapter of my imaginary

imagination

which served to entertain all of you

who were nothing more than figments of my imagination

which i lost somewhere out there in the real world

i am off to find my imagination in the real world

to see if it is really real

and if it is really real, my imagination

i will pick it up and put it back where it belongs

and maybe then i will return

and put my imagination to good use

in this imaginary world

of ones and zeros

( imaginary simple words written on an imaginary November night when I got pissed off at an imaginary person that I imagined I cared about , and decided to blow this joint, at least temporarily )


~Lia 11/5/2015

Leaking memories

There are things in life that have no good reason and no good explanation.

Bad things happen to good people  and evil seems to be rewarded .

I lost my mom when I was ten years old .  To this day I cannot think about her without shedding a tear. People say to move on past the pain and the grief and for the most part I have. I focus on the good memories I have of her . All the little things we used to do together .  She was a beautiful person,and a wonderful mom to myself and my siblings. I smile when I think of her, but sometimes I still suffer the pain of loss and even those good memories cause a tear to fall.  I allow myself that brief moment of grief.  I don't feel bad for feeling bad.

Two years ago I lost my infant grandson . I still cry when I think of the pain I watched my daughter go through , knowing she held him in her arms as he struggled to breathe, then struggled to die.
I cry when I remember holding his lifeless body in my arms and irrationally thinking that if we could just take him home, he would be ok.  That somehow we could bring  life back to him.  I cry when I remember how cold and callous some of the nurses were . How they told my daughter they would dispose of the body as if it were trash because he was born too early to be considered a person .
I hate people  who believe that .  I held a perfectly formed little  boy in my arms that day.
I cry for all of the little babies who are slaughtered in their  mother's womb because life has no meaning  to people these days.  But that is subject for another time and place.  I don't want anger to invade my thoughts today.

I'm  60 years old so I have a lot of memories and some of them are painful and sometimes I cry.

 I allow myself those moments because each tear that is shed  helps to heal and helps me to continue on in this life.

Don't be afraid to let those memories leak out from time to time....and yes, even you men.  Real men DO cry.

*********************************

Have a beautiful day my friends and know that you are loved.  ♥♥♥

Balloon~

Imagine standing outside holding a balloon filled with helium

Notice how it tries to escape with every gust of wind or gentle breeze ?

You try your best to hold on , but sooner or later it escapes your grasp ,

or sometimes you just let it go to watch it soar into the sky and far away.

In an instant it is gone, out of sight . 

It doesn't keep floating back down to get in your face 

to remind you that you once held it in your hand.

Balloons aren't that cruel 

But the thing is ...

Once that balloon escapes your grasp and soars away -

You realize that sooner rather than later that balloon is going to deflate 

and fall to the ground    ( or get stuck in a tree )  

Never to soar again .

Kind of sad ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~

( Simple words written on a peaceful November morning when I let go , Goodbye balloon  )

~Lia 11/4/2015

through your words I felt your heart

but now there are no words

and I have grown numb

and soon I will grow cold

and distant 

like you

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

( simple words written on a quiet November night when I realized how easily I had been abandoned )

~Lia 11/3/2015

dream

i dreamed that i woke up

and you were gone

you were nowhere to be found

no matter where i looked

and when i woke up 

i could not find you

no matter where i looked

you were nowhere to be found

it was then that i realized

you were always just a dream

and somewhere in the night

you drifted away 

back to the stars

from whence you came


************

( simple words written upon awakening from a dream )

~Lia 11/1/2015