simple words tonight

i always imagined the day would come when i would see you

at least there was a time when i imagined

and then time moved forward, day by day, week by week, month by month, and year by year

and life happened, the good, the bad, the ugly

lately, over the past year, mostly ugly

there was a time when i would write about everything, openly

but somewhere in this time that has gone by, i closed myself off from that openness

so now, you have no clue, and never will

i keep it all to myself

not that i like it this way, but i have no choice

i had to bring people back into my life , people i didn't want to bring back

but it was necessary

necessary to save her , since i was responsible for giving her life

i take it day by day now and hope it is worth giving up

that dream i once had

one day, it will all be over anyway

this life

the good, the bad, the ugly

then i will be free

see you on the flip side my shining star


(simple words written that you won't understand)

Into the fade

 There is  that place where earth meets sky off in the distance where you can see no farther,  which I call "the fade" .

 Sometimes I wish that I could start walking along the beach and keep on walking  into the fade .

I wish I could walk into the fade and cease to exist .  and when I ceased to exist here on this planet, that there would be nothing waiting on the other side .   I wish that once I walked into the fade, all consciousness would cease to exist also,  along with this body where it resides while I am here on earth.

 And I wish that when I walked into the fade, that all memories of me that are held by others, would cease to exist. And every piece of me I have left behind, would fade away also, so no one could look and say "here she is" or "this was hers" and be reminded of all they hated (or loved) about me.

When it all disappeared the second I walked into the fade, then those who were affected by me, my words, or my actions, good or bad, would have no pain because of my existence . 

If only it would be that easy, to fade away, cease to exist without a trace ...

                   **********

Simple words written because...

A poem in one long sentence

I'm too busy you say as you walk away , I will be back some other day, but already it is the month of May, so the words you speak hold no sway, and now the thread has begun to fray as I sit here on the dock of the bay thinking I should have gone astray since you would not have noticed anyway, so now I will no longer delay as I fly off like a big bluejay and head into the sun's bright ray with or without you, come what may I will be happy because I'm okay even if the skies turn gray and that is all I have to say !

Simple Words 5/8/2016

sometimes you just know but you don't know how to admit that you know
so you just keep going through the motions knowing what you know
but unable to stop pretending that what you imagined and what you wanted
was never actually realistic or possible but you held on to this idea
because letting go meant falling
and falling was going to be too painful

but then one day
you realize that you really do know
that you have to let go
so you struggle
but finally

you let go

and that's when you wish for wings


~Lia 5/8/2016


(simple words written before i turn out the lights)

It's Only Words - Simple Words

If words were a cover I could wrap you up tight and keep you safe and warm

If words were gold I could make you wealthy as a king on his throne

If words were light I could show you the way through the darkness

If words were food I could make sure you never went hungry

If words were colors I could give you a rainbow that never ended

If words were rain I could shower you with cool droplets on a warm day

If words were love I could give you more than you would ever need

But words are none of these things

Yet words are all I have given to you

And that makes me sad...


~ Lia ~  2/28/16


(Simple words written when I realized that the words to the song were true )

Simple Words 01/31/16

sometimes they all talk at once and i just want them to shut up

and then the silence is deafening and i wish for the sound of their voices

or even one voice

any one of them

anything

but the suffocating silence

~Lia~

01/31/16

(Simple words written when no one was talking and the silence smothered me)