Sunday, November 12, 2017

In

In the corner you sit
in the dark your heart lives in
raging against the god
you say you don't believe in
hating the life you
find yourself trapped in
fighting with demons
the ones that you brought in
cursing the people
that you would not let in
while you cling to the darkness
of the pain that is within
your heart in the dark
the dark that it lives in.

Across the room is a door
that is letting the light in
but your bitterness refuses
to let you walk

Out

11/12/2017


















Friday, October 27, 2017

In the corner of my mind

Sometime in the middle of the night I awoke and felt you inside my head, in the corner of my mind feeling your way around in the darkness as if trying to find a way out of this place in my head where you have been trapped for five years.

I don't remember how you got there, and I don't mean to hold you a prisoner inside my head. It's not as if I have not tried to set you free from that place in my mind because I have done my best to push you out through the years.

Somewhere along the line, I stopped trying because I cannot imagine what it would feel like without you there in the corner of my mind. Somehow I think it would feel cold and empty and alone. And I have become comfortable with you there, in the corner of my mind.

So if you want out, find your way and you will be free, but I know if you do, you will return, because that is where you belong, safely in that corner of my mind made just for you.



10/27/2017


(Simple words when I thought about all the years you have been inside my head)


Monday, October 9, 2017

Simple words 109

 it feels as if i am all but gone

drifting through the mist of time

that fades away

like a vapor in the wind

felt today

but quickly forgotten


it feels as if i am all but gone

as i  call out with an empty voice

that fades away

like an echo in the wind

hollow words

that no one hears


when all is said and done, what will be the proof that i ever existed?


10/9/2017



(Simple words that came to mind for a reason I am not going to talk about)





.


Friday, October 6, 2017

Simple Words 106

One day you realize it is time to step through that door and end your time in the Twilight Zone.  

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Simple Words 926

Two words

"Missed you"

Meant the world

Warmed my heart

Made me smile 

💖💖💖


9/26/2017



(Simple words so you know that one small gesture makes a difference)


Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Simple Words 920

A dream, all a dream, that ends in nothing, and leaves the sleeper where he lay down, but I wish you to know that you inspired it.

-Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
~~~~~~~


I have a poem inside my heart. An unwritten poem that will never see the light of day. It's been there for a long time, and I don't know what to do with it. I wonder if it will slowly dissolve into the mist of all the forgotten words and things I don't remember anymore?  

Or will it linger there burning like a flame nipping at my senses till slowly it burns itself down and when I take my last breath will it slip out of my mouth and become my last words...?


9/20/2017



(Simple words about a poem that remains inside my heart)




Monday, August 21, 2017

Simple Words -- The great purge

Sometimes you just have to wipe the slate clean and begin again.

Last night I took my eraser and purged my little home on the internet, well one little room called G+

Then I went back and re-populated it with the best of the best.  So if you are here reading, you are one of six worthy individuals.

So yeah, that's all at the moment.

A few simple words falling out of my fingers.



 or six 

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Simple Words on and on

For a long time she had stopped writing from the heart.

Then one day she felt safe enough to begin again.

Imagine her consternation when she found her words from the heart being mocked on another site by someone she thought highly of.

Thus her days of writing from the heart shall end now.


(Simple words that will not go on and on...).


Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Simple Words early in the morning

He told me once that he was in love with his friend's wife.  I thought to myself what a lonely love that must be.

I always wondered, but didn't ask, what were his plans, what were his dreams?

Did he plan to take her away from the man who had been a good friend?  Was he waiting around, hoping his friend would die so he could claim what he prized so dearly?  Or would he pine away for a love he could never fulfill?

As far as I know, he never freed his heart to love another.

And she never knew how he felt.

What a lonely love, to love another man's wife.




(Simple words which came to mind when I heard this song early this morning and remembered a conversation with a friend)



Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Simple Words

someone said
one state away
is so far away 
but one state away is not far away
one state away is less than a day
and i'm tired of watching 
the games people play

so i just laugh 




(Simple words need no explanation)



.

Friday, June 30, 2017

Simple Words - Untitled

The sun beats down on a sultry sweltering summer afternoon as sweat trickles between the hills and down to the valley below , the forbidden zone , where no man has been allowed to enter since the day he left her crumbling into a heap of broken heart onto the floor of the room she hid herself in till she glued the pieces back together into some semblance of normal and moved on to what has become a passionless existence .

But every now and then she remembers how it felt before that time so long ago and the memory leaves her feeling a curious mixture of hunger and lust,  yet she is unable, or unwilling to fulfill the desire with anything beyond mere words, so it is words she seeks , though she knows deep inside that words are words , and nothing more . And sooner or later words will run out and she will be left standing there with nothing . In fact she stands there with nothing even now, but this time she does not crumble into a heap of broken heart because she has become indifferent and indifference is her favorite kind of pain, one she cannot feel.

The night creeps in silently and she begins to write words and the words fill the silence that engulfs her and once again she feels nothing, and nothing is her favorite kind of pain .

****************


(Simple words written to and about no one and nothing)





Tuesday, June 27, 2017

4:49 PM

I look out my window
It is gray and green outside
A streak of lightning tears apart the sky
That is the coolest thing I have seen all day
Except for the chicken tractor my friend built
That was pretty cool too
It's raining.
Can I take a nap now ?
A nap at 4:49 PM
Such is my life ...


(Simple words from my simple life)

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Just a song

Why have I never heard this ???

Storms
Every night that goes between
I feel a little less
As you slowly go away from me
This is only another test
Every day you do not come
Your softness fades away
Did I ever really care that much
Is there anything left to say
Every hour of fear I spend
My body tries to cry
Living through each empty night
A deadly call inside
I haven't felt this way I feel
Since many a years ago
But in those years and the lifetimes past
I did not deal with the road
And I did not deal with you I know
Though the love has always been
So I search to find an answer there
So I can truly win
Every hour of fear I spend
My body tries to cry
Living through each empty night
A deadly call inside
So I try to say good-bye my friend
Id like to leave you with something more
But never ever been a blue calm sea
I have always been a storm
Always been a storm
Oh always been a storm
I have always been a storm
We were frail
She said "every night he will break your heart"
I should've known from the first
Id be the broken-hearted
But I loved you from the start
Not all the prayers in the world could save us
Songwriters: Stevie Nicks                                                                                                                                                                                                  


Monday, June 19, 2017

a line of word crumbs , and simple words from me and others

I have a friend who writes nice long emails, full of words that make me smile and make me think. I try to write back with words of my own, but I never feel I quite measure up , but I would not give up these back and forth emails for the world.

I read a book once, it was a series of  letters between two penpals, one in the United States, one in England.  This exchange started when the lady in the US picked up a book that this man had written and she sent him a letter to let him know she enjoyed the book. These were actual hand written letters and they continued to write on a regular basis for years and years, till they both grew old and eventually the lady died .  What I loved about them was they grew to know each other and to love each other as if they were living close and often meeting face to face .

I mention this because I do believe people can grow close in ways besides being physical. After all, the body is just a house that our soul and spirit (or some may call it energy or mind)  lives in. We are more than just flesh and blood. I think that part of us,the flesh or as dP calls it, the meat suit , haha,  is the most insignificant part of us to be quite honest.  I don't feel like going into this too deeply, it was just something I have been thinking about because of something someone else said which made me wonder if it was worth bothering with writing anything at all, much less sharing from my heart.

I do know through the years I have formed some close bonds with people through the sharing of words and I do believe words hold power that touch does not. Much more power.

There was this person I started communicating with many years ago who lived on another continent. I actually first encountered him through YouTube and somehow we began writing back and forth and that went on for quite awhile.  Another of my "brothers" is what he became. He was in a very bad place in life when I first ran across him and I reached out through WORDS.   And because of what he wrote to me months later, I realized that words have the power to help and to heal, as well as to hurt.

I've always tried to be a person who uses my words here and through emails to help and to heal, not to tear down.  I've talked to a lot of people through writing blogs and emails over the years.  Most I have never met and most I never will meet.  But I know my words made a difference to many because they have told me so.   Maybe it was just taking the time to care, even though I could not physically be there to help them. And even had I been there physically, for the most part it would have been words they needed more than touch.  Sincere words and caring, and someone to listen. Someone to love them for their mind and not their body.

Anyway, this is what he sent to me after awhile, when he was in a better place. I was humbled by his words to me.

To Lia,

you pulled a thorn from a lions foot,
the day you came to me,
with healing hands and gentle words,
my wings you have set free,

upon a rock i sat alone,
waiting for a call,
to ease my pain and suffering,
a gentle breeze from home,

a prayer i sent so long ago,
in the ice field full of snow,
for one to warm my very soul,
and save me from the fall,

the sunshine came to a darkened sky,
and alowed me to see again,
warmth and kindness from far away,
heat from ice filled rain,

a tapestry of soulfull words,
sent to longfull ears,
to bring joy and happiness,
and dry up all the tears,

it is you that i talk about,
in these unworthy rhymes,
oh healer of deepest wounds,
forgiver of youthfull crimes,

may these words hit their mark,
my arrows fly true and straight,
may your heart be full of love,
and never feel the hate,

thank 
you my friend for all that you are !


                         ****



I'm just saying that we can become very close to people without ever meeting in person. So yes, sometimes all I have are my words, but my words or your words can reach across the miles to touch, and comfort and heal.

I read something the other day, some words by the poet Lang Leav --

Distance  by Lang Leav

It was all I wanted for the longest time -- to open my eyes and see you there.
To stretch out my hand and touch the soft , yielding warmth of your skin.
But now I have learned the secret of distance.
Now I know being close to you was never about the proximity .

                                ****


I think that says it much better than I ever could.  


I started to write this post the other day . I was in a bad frame of mind and my words would not come to me in a way that I felt deserved to be shared with you out there who take the time to read what I have to say.  That part of the title about a line of word crumbs, I left it in the title, but am not going to say what I was going to say the other day.  It would be petty.   I will only say I love the words of others, I crave them even, but I don't like small talk or obligatory words.

Earlier I was looking out the window here in this beautiful place called Idaho so far from most of you, my readers, and I was thinking how  I love each and every one of you that stop in to read. I will probably never meet any of you face to face, but  I want my words to touch you in some way, even if they just make you laugh, or think, or know that distance does not prevent the heart from caring.


Peace ~



(Simple words spoken from the heart because I care, more than you know)
  

Saturday, June 17, 2017

The End ?

Gather the stars into tales of romance from days gone by

Shed tears for the beginnings and endings of the past

Tell me stories of long lost loves

And nights filled with passion you can't forget

Lament those days that are filled with regret

For things undone and words unsaid

Speak to me of everything and nothing

Till the sun sets in the west and rises in the east

Keep talking , keep talking

Until you have no words left to say

Except the words that you haven't said

The final telling of our tale

The way it all ended 

Why ? you ask 

I will tell you why

Our tale was written in pencil

And I have erased it all

And started over

With a blank piece of paper

And a new sharpened pencil

I will write, and write 

And erase what is wrong 

Until I run out of paper, and run out of lead

Then I will write our story in the sand

Until the end of time

And on into Forever

So don't speak of  The End of our story

It does not exist



~Lia 


(Simple words written before, and now again, but not for the last time)



.


Thursday, June 15, 2017

Seven years ago

When simple words no longer come, it is time to let go.

That was seven years ago .  

Tonight I have come full circle.

It's time once again.



Wednesday, May 10, 2017

It's only words




Sometime in the middle of the night last night , 3 AM to be exact , I awoke to the darkness and the echoes of  "what might have been"  bouncing off the walls of my room.

I used to be afraid of the dark till you showed me the shooting stars in the night sky outside my window , once upon a time .

I remembered how I used to awaken in the middle of the night,  and watch those stars which inspired me to write words.

Words that I could give to you in the morning when the stars had gone back to sleep for the day.

Sometime in the middle of the night last night , 3 AM to be exact ,  I arose from my bed and looked at the stars outside my window, and they inspired me to write words for you .

This morning I read what I had written, then lit a match and set fire to those words .

I watched as my words curled up and died ~

5/10/2017









(Simple words about simple words that no longer exist)



.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

The boy on the bus - #1 in the All the Boys series

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Today, out of the blue,

I thought of you, 

the boy on the bus, 

the Trailways bus.

I was sitting in the back seat 

alone

I remember you boarded the bus

in some podunk town in Illinois 

or maybe it was Indiana

 I don't really recall

 I saw you walking toward the back

so I huddled under my blanket

and looked straight ahead

hoping you didn't sit nearby

I didn't expect you to, 

didn't want you to

There were plenty of empty seats

and I wanted to be

alone

But no, you,

you looked me in the eye 

and sat down next to me,  

I  turned and stared out the window

and you asked me my name

I looked at you and

 told you I didn't have one

You smiled and asked me again

so I told you my name

You said I had the prettiest blue eyes

and I didn't know what to say

So we rode on in silence

till the sun went down

and the bus was cold

Huddling together under my blanket

 we each told a story, then

you took my hand and held it in yours

Where are you headed ?

somewhere, anywhere,

to Houston I said

Then you kissed me

soft and warm,

we kissed away the miles

I gave you a hand job 

under that blanket

You came in my hand

then pulled me close and

we fell asleep till 

Pine Bluff Arkansas

which was your stop

You grabbed your bag,

kissed me goodbye

I watched as you walked into the darkness

and realized I had not asked your name

You left me with nothing

but the stickiness of your cum in my hand

And this memory of you

which came to me today

Forty something years later

as I sat in my car on a hot sticky day

alone


~Lia     5/4/2015


****



Simple words sparked from a memory of a boy on a bus a long long time ago...