Simple Words 13119

I was looking back at words I had written through the years.  It all seems so meaningless now and some of it seems as if it was a lesson in futility.  Writing in hopes you would see or hear and understand.  But no, it all fell on deaf ears and blind eyes.  I was never sure you would see, or hear, but I was always sure you would "feel".

I was wrong.

(Simple words on a cloudy morning, the last day of January 2019) 

1/31/2019

Simple words 13019

Sometimes I wonder how well we would know each other if we hadn't spent so much time playing that game of dodge...


(Simple words but it is too late now)


1/30/2019

Simple words 12919

After all these years you still won't talk to me, you won't open up. You put on that mask to make yourself look strong.

But I see through that mask to the pain and the vulnerability. I see the sadness and the disappointment you carry around with you.

One day when it is too late, you will understand who I am and that you could have trusted me.

Simple words 12819

all of the words that I wrote
they were always meant for you
all of the words that you wrote
they were never meant for me

and I thought to myself
what a lopsided love it was

that's when i stopped writing


(Simple words on a damp, chilly morning as I sit here wrapped in a blanket sipping coffee and remembering)


1/28/2019

Simple words 12719

Last night I had a dream, a very short dream where you were sitting in my livingroom along with several other people discussing something, I can't really recall. But I recall that you were very articulate in your presentation of your opinion.  I remember you had a little boy with you and it was getting late. You wanted to stay but needed to get the boy home.

I followed you outside to say goodbye.  We stood there for a moment, you looked me in the eye and touched my face gently.  I pushed your hand away. 

And then you stole my ladder.


Dreams, they can be strange...


(Simple words as I sit here remembering the warmth of your hand on my face)


1/27/2019

Simple Words 12419

We had a conversation that one night and I started to tell you I was on to you.  I didn't though, because I wanted our talk to be positive and in spite of what I know, and the things you do, I still have a  place in my heart for you because I think you are a good person deep down.

But you need to know that I have been on to you for a few years and I know your game because that game is as old as the hills and I am more astute than you have ever given me credit for, and I am also quite intuitive.  Besides that you are careless and it is not hard to see your mistakes because you put them out there in plain site for the world to see.

I won't turn my back on you, because in spite of it all, I have been a faithful and consistent friend. I truly do care about you as a person, and we all have our faults.  Yours are no greater than anyone else's including mine, so who am I to judge?

When everyone else is gone, I will still be there, caring about you as a person.

And that my friend, is what real love is all about, unconditional.


(Simple words to an unnamed someone as I sit here on a stormy morning smiling because life is good!)


1/24/2019

Simple Words 12319

Things always work out the way they should.

That is what they say, and who am I to question the great all knowing "they"?

Still, that is my nature, to question because if things always go a certain way, then that means we really have no choices in life.  

So I question, then I look for the answer as to why things turn out the way they do.

Questioning is a good thing, as long as one can deal with the answer they find.

Like me, I found my answer and what it told me is that I am quite insignificant, just one of the many. 

I can accept that little truth.   

I am content with my life, happy even.   I am at peace, and that is all that really matters. 

Not looking, not seeking, not wanting, not longing.

Not anymore.

(Simple words that came to mind when I looked in the refrigerator this morning and saw two raw steaks . *Don't ask*)

1/23/2019